My Life Changed March 2006

The first 56 years was thus…..and then it became so…..strange…

My life changed so dramatically that day in late March of 2006.  I had already tried and failed to get a guardian for my mom because I knew from past experience what would happen to her if The spider got her way.  The judge however wouldn’t allow any testimony about what had happened in our family 5 years before.  Had he allowed that he could have seen a pattern of behavior–a pattern of keeping mom isolated, of pressuring her for money, of dangerous medical decisions, of undue influence.  As I chronicled in an earlier post “Watch Out, Your Sibling Could Be Gunning For You”,  my worst fears came to life–mom was abused in a number of ways.

Her belongings were moved from her apartment in January after being hospitalized for what I was eventually told was an elective surgery on her knee.  She barely survived and could no longer walk after that.  Her whereabouts were kept secret.  I found her in a nursing home in February, though the staff was not allowed to confirm her presence or discuss her condition.  She was happy to see me and I promised to see her again when we returned from an art fair in Fl.  When I returned she was gone–it took some detective work to find her in another nursing home.  My daughter visited her under “supervision” of The spider and her daughter while I waited in the car to avoid a spectacle.  She was sitting up, talking, and kissed Mary and told her she loved her.  It was later reported to me by staff that after we left The spider was yelling at mom about how dangerous it was to see us.  The staff told her she couldn’t treat mom that way and soon after The spider left mom was found slumped over in her chair, feverish and unconscious.  When Robin and I went to see her at the hospital the next day The spider was there and mom was unconscious.  The spider refused to tell me what was ailing mom.  As we left, I stopped by the nurses station to ask.  The nurse started to tell me when The spider approached zipping her finger across her lips in a gesture to tell the nurse to shut up.  I turned to my “once sister” and said “You’re acting out of fear and that will just get worse until you die.”  She said mom didn’t want to see me or Mary and I replied that was not what mom said just the day before–after all she kissed Mary and told her she loved her.  The spider’s unbelievable answer was “That’s a lie.” As we walked away she was already on her cell phone calling for “reinforcements”–not her husband, he’s sneaky as dad said.  He’s a small person and a coward.

As we left the hospital her son rushed up to us.  He’s the ex-marine, turned Marion Federal Penitentiary guard with what looked to me like a bloated face from pumping up on steroids.  Though we were face to face he shouted in a loud voice–obviously for the effect of gathering attention.  He started off by telling me that he had been wanting to run into me to tell me off and had about concluded that it would have to be at mom’s funeral.    My first thought was if you’re intention was to “tell me off” why haven’t you called me?

He continued by yelling that I wasn’t  going to be satisfied until I killed her for her money.   I yelled back that I didn’t need her money that we were on track to make a quarter of a million dollars that year.  (Meaning sales–before expenses)  His response was strange–He lowered his voice and said “Why would you say that?”  It was very peculiar.

As we walked off he yelled, “Hell, your own daughter is dead because of you!”  That stopped me in my tracks.  I sprinted back and got in his face and said “What did you say?”

He said, “Your own daughter is dead because you made her go on that fishing trip to get killed so that you could shack up with your boyfriend!”  Everything changed then.  “I said, you’re nothing, nothing but a redneck.” We turned and left but not before  we saw The spider  standing there  with that Jack Nicholson “Shining” grin on her face.

It was not just that the painful interpretation of why Debra died was so distorted.  It was that I finally realized the depth of their depravity.   In that moment I came to believe that they were trying to kill her and frame me for it.  What else would make sense?   I immediately went home and called my attorney and told her what happened and she agreed that Judge Kimmel should know about this and she’d talk to a court appointed attorney so he could report it.

I also made a painful decision to tell Robin and my daughter Mary that we couldn’t go anywhere near mom again.  I hoped she and we would be safe that way.  I assumed that Judge Kimmel would alert the proper authorities to watch out for her.  It seemed obvious to me they couldn’t wait to get their hands on her money and property–everything I’d witnessed from The spider for seven years was pointing directly at that.  It was like a giant wall tumbling down on me brick by brick.  The realization that I could no longer ignore was that they were consumed with hatred, jealousy and greed and to hell with family.  I found it all but impossible to work after that.  I’d go in the studio and sit and stare into space, crying.  And after that things just got stranger…..

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