Life With Robin

 

It’s the special torment of my mind that I went through that is all I have left of my parents and sisters.  But also I want to tell of you of what else I’ve lost and gained besides by family, my inheritance and the prime decade of my art making.

I began personal soul-searching by the time I was in my early 20’s and reconsidered and re-evaluated religion as so many do at that age.  By my mid-late 20’s I was exploring all kinds of alternative ways of thinking, fusing science and religion to create art which was for me personally a vehicle in to the world of the spiritual.  I never spoke of this to anyone. Most people have these private missions in life that they really don’t speak of don’t you think?

I’ve consciously, deliberately created a world into which I can surround myself with what I need to evolve my soul.  It is, or was a private world cocooned on this 20 acre plot.  It’s a quiet but certainly not silent world, bursting with the presence of mother nature and art.  I share this world with Robin alone.  Others only get a part of it.  Robin was the first person that ever knew of my quest.  You see when I found him he knew without being told.  It was the first and only person I’ve ever known, bar none, that has come close to living, understanding, knowing what I mean.  He was on the same journey and actually farther ahead in some aspects.  Our goal is to rise above the innate temptations of body and soul and to find a place in this world where we can be in sync with the universe and contribute in our own way through our art.  It’s the simplest of quests, one shared by millions.  The wisdoms of the world are of special importance to us in gaining understanding of how to see the universe from different perspectives.  Only in this way can one glimpse a truth.  My private world is made up of influence from many world religions, most especially Native American Mythology, Zen Buddhism, Taoism, Christianity, Judaism.  Of important influence on my thinking is eastern mysticism in general, the I Ching, and most especially the Goddess Culture, the Gaia Theory, quantum and cosmic physics, the love of art and craft and the love of making art  and making an artful life.  Our life was full of sex, of passion, of hard physical labor and of devotion to our land that we felt so very blessed to have been given by the universe.

We had difficulties along the way.  We had failures.  We had obstacles to overcome.  We had parental concerns and “blended” family problems.  That’s the same for pretty much everyone in life, don’t you think?  I had intense personal pain to overcome with the loss of Debbie.  But we managed.  We grew stronger.  We made time for family and friends, but they weren’t the center of our lives, rather on the periphery.  We loved them, we had warm, short contact, we helped where we could, we got on with our own lives.  It was romantic.  If Robin & I had been left alone,  we could have lived out our days blissfully, making a comfortable living and making a lot of patrons happy for years and years and otherwise been unknown to the world.

And then The spider happened and it’s been like permanent coitus interruptus.  But she’s lost her clutch.  Finally.  And along the way I’ve been rewarded with a deeper level of understanding of who I am and the importance of my art.

 

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